Sunday, 29 September 2013

Being Homesick..

Helloo - it's an emotional post today on my first week at university - I wrote this article for nu:life magazine and wanted to pop it up on here too..

Moving to university is one of the biggest steps a young person can take in their life, and is also something that many people - including myself - completely underestimate. For months and months, I, along with thousands of other students across the country have redrafted my personal statement more times than I want to remember, anxiously waited for answers from universities and then revised for hours in order to get to the position that I'm in right now, the place I've wanted to be for the last 2yrs. I'm finally at Northumbria University - so why was freshers week one of the hardest, and most testing weeks of my life?

cupcakes from my best friends at home <3
I felt alone. Even with 5 other flatmates, who were absolutely lovely, and thousands of other people that like me, were starting their freshers week, I felt horribly and totally alone. I was putting pressure on myself way too much to go out and get drunk every night even though that doesn't particularly interest me; but what else was I going to do, sit alone in my room all night and be the odd one out? I looked around and saw all these people having an amazing time, laughing and joking, yet I was the opposite - I actually just wanted a hug from my mum and dad! Freshers week is hyped up to be this incredible time where you make all these great friends and have the best nights ever - but in between them are long days to be filled and at times I was just desperate to leave, completely overwhelmed at the entire situation.

Everyone says 'oh you'll be fine once you get there' or 'you are going to absolutely love every minute of university!'..but what if you don't? Does that make you abnormal or weird? My freshers week was a blur of tears, phonecalls home, awkward conversations with strangers(and a hangover or 3) and there were so many times that I wanted to drop out and go home but what good would that do? I couldn't even occupy myself with tasks to stop myself getting upset, because it was almost as if I couldn't let go of the idea of 'home'. The word 'home' for me, comes with connotations of comfort, happiness and familiarity and throughout my first week, I was anything but that in these new surroundings and even with incredible support from my family and friends back at home, I was miserable.

4/5 of my lovely flatmates!

It's not in my character to give up and I was not going to waste weeks of revising for A Levels, plus the sense of achievement of getting good results by dropping out before I'd even given my geography course, and the lovely city of Newcastle a chance. So even though all I wanted to do was sit in my room and cry, I pushed myself to do things that I would usually shy away from, like making conversations with new people and joining societies/groups such as nu:life magazine and with this, not only did I begin to make new friends and build solid relationships with my flatmates, but I feel like I'm beginning to have a sense of purpose in university life, outside of my course.

Freshers week is hard for some people - there's so much time to fill that it becomes overwhelming but surround yourself with people, push yourself to step outside of your comfort zone, phone home lots and from personal experience, I can promise it gets so so much better.

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed - I was so excited when I found out it would be published!

Charlotte x

Friday, 13 September 2013

University Homeware Haul #2


So I'm continuing to spend money on different things for university, it's so crazy how much you need - or it's just showing me how much I take for granted in my own house which is actually quite humbling! Yeah anyway, I thought I'd show you more of the things I got, without the boring stuff like a wok..or a toilet brush..

*sorry for the crappy background pictures, I've packed up most of my things now so it's abit bare and ugly!

Due to the teeny tiny wardrobe, I decided to be organised(for once) and buy a storage drawer set, from family bargains for 12.99 and I'll probably be keeping clothes that I can't squeeze into the ridiculously small space we have for clothes!

This modern, white lamp was an absolute steal from Store 21 at 4.99 and I thought it would be perfect for my bedside table, although I did almost forget to buy bulbs so that would have been a slight issue if my mum hadn't come to the rescue, how will I live without her?!

This sleek John Lewis alarm clock was very kindly sent to me and it was such perfect timing as it was next on my list of things to buy! This is the Newgate cubic alarm clock is quite small, so perfectly sized to put on a bedside table and it means I'll never oversleep for a lecture...Yay...

My mum bought me this little box to put..stuff(?) in - I'm thinking hairgrips/bobbles although I don't know why because they constantly go missing anyway! This picture was from 10yrs ago and my navy velvet playsuit is VERY sexy...

This suuuuuper cute storage box is from TKMaxx and I love it - it was a gift from my auntie for my 18th which she filled with Soap and Glory, Nails Inc etc so for the trip up to Newcastle, I carried this on...

Ok, I cannot get over how much I love this storage box - way more than I should when it's literally a box. If you are looking for nice homeware stuff and have a Store 21 near you, GO IN - they have such nice stuff and it's so inexpensive! This atlas themed box was only 7.99 and seeing as I'm about to start studying for a Geography degree, I had  to buy it...

After all that hard work of moving all my crap from the car..up the the flat(I'm tired thinking about it!) so a cup of tea and lots and lots of biscuits will be needed..well think about all those calories I'll have burnt walking up the stairs!!

As you're reading this, I'm travelling upto Newcastle to move into halls; I'm so excited but also crapping myself abit aswell, OH GOD WHAT AM I DOING!!

Charlotte xx 

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

TT#2 - Leaving for University with a new Attitude


Today is a scary day, actually it's super exciting but I'm scared! It's my last day at home as tomorrow, I pack up 5million boxes of crap with my mum into my car and off I go to Newcastle to Northumbria University. It's weird how it's now actually happening, because, I know this sounds stupid but it never really felt 'real' before.. People would ask me where I was going etc and I'd casually answer, 'yeah I'm going to study in Newcastle' yet now the day is here, and I'm actually going, and I look around my bare room, with the boxes stacked up against the wall, I'm nervous!

Nothing has changed.. I was like 1 I think
I definitely feel like it's time for me to move on to a new chapter of my life  though, and as nervous as I am, I know that this will probably be the best times of my life and I'm excited to experience that. 
Rocking out in recorder club at 7/8yrs old
I'm sad though, like as I type this, I'm welling up!! Over the past couple of years, I've become really close with my mum and it's not the thought of not seeing her every day that upsets me, because my parents have been divorced since I was 2 so I've never seen her every day but I've always known she, and the rest of my family are less than 10mins away and now I'm moving 3hrs away, where I don't know anyone..

Striking a pose for the camera at the school's christmas show at 10yrs old
I feel like the last 10yrs have sped by so quickly, that I've become..lost in a sense, in a whirlwind of who I think I need to be to fit in, who and what people see me as and what others think of me. I've become obsessed with what other people think of me, and I hate that. I hate that because it doesn't give my confidence in myself.

Friend's 16th Birthday Fancy Dress Party..!!
I've never written a blog post like this because I was apprehensive as to how it would be taken, but also, I don't think until now that I've realised that I don't like how I think, how I constantly put myself down - it's not good for me. 

Night out with ze girlz
Tomorrow, I'm going to Newcastle and with that, I'm leaving my old mindset behind (aswell as my cute little dog who I'll actually probably miss more than my family(!) and I'm taking with me a new, positive one. Until this post, I've never posted a picture of myself on here, but now I'm not going to be embarrassed and I'm not going to bring myself down with thoughts of 'i bet people think I look ugly..fat...stupid etc etc'. I'm me, that's all I'm ever going to be.

At my leaving dinner last week with my grandparents.
Obviously, I'm SUPER SUPER nervous about meeting new people, my course, living in a city but I know that once I'm there, and I've settled in, I'll be fine and I just keep telling myself that over and over again. I've even said yes to a north east blogger meet up, which will be my first ever one! Yay!

I'm super excited for this new chapter in my life - I know it will be great.

Thank for reading!

Charlotte xx 
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