Tuesday, 10 September 2013

TT#2 - Leaving for University with a new Attitude


Today is a scary day, actually it's super exciting but I'm scared! It's my last day at home as tomorrow, I pack up 5million boxes of crap with my mum into my car and off I go to Newcastle to Northumbria University. It's weird how it's now actually happening, because, I know this sounds stupid but it never really felt 'real' before.. People would ask me where I was going etc and I'd casually answer, 'yeah I'm going to study in Newcastle' yet now the day is here, and I'm actually going, and I look around my bare room, with the boxes stacked up against the wall, I'm nervous!

Nothing has changed.. I was like 1 I think
I definitely feel like it's time for me to move on to a new chapter of my life  though, and as nervous as I am, I know that this will probably be the best times of my life and I'm excited to experience that. 
Rocking out in recorder club at 7/8yrs old
I'm sad though, like as I type this, I'm welling up!! Over the past couple of years, I've become really close with my mum and it's not the thought of not seeing her every day that upsets me, because my parents have been divorced since I was 2 so I've never seen her every day but I've always known she, and the rest of my family are less than 10mins away and now I'm moving 3hrs away, where I don't know anyone..

Striking a pose for the camera at the school's christmas show at 10yrs old
I feel like the last 10yrs have sped by so quickly, that I've become..lost in a sense, in a whirlwind of who I think I need to be to fit in, who and what people see me as and what others think of me. I've become obsessed with what other people think of me, and I hate that. I hate that because it doesn't give my confidence in myself.

Friend's 16th Birthday Fancy Dress Party..!!
I've never written a blog post like this because I was apprehensive as to how it would be taken, but also, I don't think until now that I've realised that I don't like how I think, how I constantly put myself down - it's not good for me. 

Night out with ze girlz
Tomorrow, I'm going to Newcastle and with that, I'm leaving my old mindset behind (aswell as my cute little dog who I'll actually probably miss more than my family(!) and I'm taking with me a new, positive one. Until this post, I've never posted a picture of myself on here, but now I'm not going to be embarrassed and I'm not going to bring myself down with thoughts of 'i bet people think I look ugly..fat...stupid etc etc'. I'm me, that's all I'm ever going to be.

At my leaving dinner last week with my grandparents.
Obviously, I'm SUPER SUPER nervous about meeting new people, my course, living in a city but I know that once I'm there, and I've settled in, I'll be fine and I just keep telling myself that over and over again. I've even said yes to a north east blogger meet up, which will be my first ever one! Yay!

I'm super excited for this new chapter in my life - I know it will be great.

Thank for reading!

Charlotte xx 

1 comment:

  1. I love this new mindset of yours!
    You will have an amazing time at uni, just make sure you give yourself enough time to settle in and whatever you do, never give up.

    You're so pretty, i absolutely love your hair! Never put yourself down, who gives one what everyone else thinks? As long as you're happy that's literally the only thing that matters.

    Loved this post, it's nice to be able to put a face to your blog :) Best of luck at uni, you'll have a blast! xx



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