Thursday, 12 March 2015

Why do we worry?

How pointless is worrying?

Yet we all do it.

I am a huge worrier, but it seems to have gotten significantly worse since I came to university, last year. Maybe it's because I've moved away from all of my little home comforts, maybe it's because I have more responsibilities now but could it be that we are living in a society where everyone is striving to be the perfect person? Who knows, but over the last few months it seems to have gotten worse and I'm really not sure why.

It could be that I'm possible the biggest drama queen on the planet and need to get a grip of myself because everyone feels the same way and just gets on with life, but I don't want to constantly wake up, and walk around, with what feels like a weight on my shoulders or a grey cloud above my head. It's so frustrating because I have a good life! I'm lucky enough to have a family that love and support me, great friends, a job supporting me while I study - I couldn't ask for much more at the age of 20 (apart from Kendall Jenner's face and Beyonce's body but I think that could be a tad unrealistic...). I'm sick of making up situations that are most probably never going to happen, analysing conversations that I've had and chastising myself for something I said, thinking...

'why would you say that?'

'that wasn't funny at all'

'they probably think you're so weird now'

...because you know what, the only person thinking about that conversation which happened maybe days, weeks or months ago, is me. And hell, even if that person is, they're probably thinking the exact same thing about themselves.

It really is just ridiculous and I refuse to keep on filling my mind with this constant negativity and self doubt. It's impossible to stop it completely but we can live a life where worries are not continuously clouding our brains, so I'm taking steps to stop the pointless worrying and anxiety about the smallest little things, in the hope to have a more calm and positive mindset.

Maybe you'll find these tips useful? ...Is anyone even still reading at this point? Who knows, humour me...

1. Download Headspace app
 > A mindfulness app which, step by step, teaches you how to take 10 minutes out of your day to sit, relax and clear your mind of any stress or worry you may have. For the first few sessions you just hope there isn't a hidden camera in your room watching you sit on the floor, legs crossed and eyes closed, because you do feel like a bit of a dick but, it really does help. It completely relaxes you, and it forces you to make time for yourself to just chill.

2. Write worries down
 > I worry a lot at night as for some reason, my brain thinks it's some sort of funny joke to pretend it's tired all day but suddenly come alive at night and wants to go over every little thing that's ever happened in my life. After researching online (so cool, I know), writing any worries that you may have down before you go to bed, in the hope that it lets you get it out of your system, seemed to be recommended a lot so having started this week, I'm going to try this out and see if it actually works.

3. Talk
 > As the saying goes, 'a problem shared, is a problem halved'. Bottling things up doesn't help anyone and chances are, whoever you confide will reassure you so so much.

4. Be rational 
 > Sometimes it's hard but I try to live by a saying my grandma has always told me.. 'There's always a way round it'. Some things can be blown so monumentally out of proportion and it can seem like the absolute end of the world, but really it's not, and there really is always a way round it.

Charlotte x

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