Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Growing up, moving out and going places

Recently, whilst scrolling down my twitter feed and procrastinating on other social media platforms, I’ve seen an increasing amount of people utter the words, ‘I wish I was little again..’ or ‘I want to be a child again’. Now these people aren’t what you may call ‘old’ and not even close to being in the midst of a midlife crisis yet - but instead 20 somethings who are maybe beginning to realise that life isn’t all ice creams, Disney channel and playing Bulldog in the playground(can anyone remember that game – bless us...).

For a split second I went to agree with them, but as I thought about it I realised that actually, I’ve loved ‘growing up’, moving out, going to university, earning my own money etc. I’m not about to do a mystical speech on ‘finding yourself’ because frankly, I think if you're so desperately looking, you’re never going to find it – it will happen in time, without desperate attempts of forcing yourself to become a certain person or change in order to 'fit' into a certain box.

I do think however, that moving out at 18 and going to university in Newcastle, miles away from home, has been the best thing that I could ever have done. I didn’t immediately love university or being away from home. In fact, I’m pretty sure I had one of the most horrendous fresher’s weeks ever but looking back now, I love that I experienced the struggle of adjusting to life outside of my little comfort bubble, especially now, as I can see just how much I’ve grown, changed and developed as my own person.

Source
Now I’m not saying that being a child again would be the worst thing in the entire world and I definitely do not think that at the start of every month when money just cannot wait to fly out of my account for tax, rent and bills.  Playing ‘out’ with friends, watching Tracy Beaker and eating as many Haribo sweets as physically possible without the thought of calories, sugar or weight even entering my head sounds fabulous, but I’ve been there, done that and now I want to experience more.

I think maybe it's the freedom, that I love.

The freedom of being able to do what you want, when you want (I mean, within reason anyway...)

The freedom to not have to answer to anyone, the freedom…wait for it...to do my own food shopping. I’m crazy I know, there’s just no stopping me.

But just having the ability to organise and figure out my own life and direction is such a good feeling. (I mean, it’s a good feeling at times but you know when you have too much time to think and you start thinking about what career path you’re wanting to head down and what you’re actually going to do with your life, but you still don’t know but you’re no longer a teenager anymore and you thought by now everything would be figured out but it’s not…Yeah that, that’s not a good feeling.)

Anyway.

I haven’t come from a horrible home or place – the complete opposite in fact! I love home. Nothing is better than eating a home cooked meal, or getting into a freshly made bed that you haven’t struggled to make up (swearing at a duvet isn’t good for anyone) but I would never have appreciated that as much as I do now, without having to fend for myself and experience these grossly boring tasks.

Of course there are times when I hate not living at home, for selfish and non-selfish reasons…

Coming down to a disgustingly full sink of dirty pots to wash, washing and ironing my own clothes and cleaning mildew off the shower isn’t particularly what I had in mind for living the oh so glamourous independent life.

I do miss having those reassuring natters with my mum or grandma over a cuppa or a laugh with my dad on a daily basis but now, I appreciate the time I do spend with them so much more. Two things that no one should ever take for granted. Family and time.

I’m excited for the future but more importantly, I’m loving the present too. I love living with friends, I love visiting and appreciating family and home. I love working and I’m also feeling really good about where I want this blog to go – I can’t wait to go travelling next year and use this as my little online diary.

No one said growing up is a fairy tale but I wouldn't want it any other way.

Another day, another ramble... Let me know if you enjoy these types of posts – a little change from talking about food!

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